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30 Advantages of being a gay man |
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| 1. You know which wine to bring. | |
| 2. Sales clerks don't mess with you. | |
| 3. You never hold a grudge longer than a decade. | |
| 4. You choose the most fabulous greeting cards. | |
| 5. You've got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level. | |
| 6. You have the appropriate underwear for any type of occasion | |
| 7. You understand the immense importance of good or bad lighting. | |
| 8. You can be in a crowded bar and still spot a toupee from 50 yards away. | |
| 9. No one expects you to kiss and NOT tell. | |
| 10. You can have naked pictures of men you don't know in your home. | |
| 11. You can have naked pictures of men you do know in your home. | |
| 12. You understand why the good Lord invented spandex. | |
| 13. You understand why the good Lord did not intend everyone to wear spandex. | |
| 14. You know the difference between a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait and a mocha chino. If you don't, you know how to fake it. | |
| 15. You know how to get back at just about everyone. | |
| 16. Your pets always have great names. | |
| 17. Nobody expects you to change a tire. | |
| 18. You know how to get the waiter's attention. | |
| 19. You are, hands down, your nephew's and nieces' favorite uncle. | |
| 20. You get to choose your family. | |
| 21. You can tell your sexual compatibility with a potential partner by the way he holds his drink. | |
| 22. You know how to smile to let someone know that you can't stand them. | |
| 23. You wouldn't be caught dead in Hooters. | |
| 24. You can freeze an approaching bar troll twenty feet away. | |
| 25. You're good friends with women that other people cant' stand. | |
| 26. You've always got an opinion and don't mind sharing it. | |
| 27. You've read the book, seen the movie, done the musical. | |
| 28. You know exactly when to move out and move on. | |
| 29. You are the only one at the class reunion who looks better than you did in high school. | |
| 30. You know that being called a "cheap slut" isn't necessarily an insult. | |